Funny one liners and quotes that one can find on vehilces in Hyderabad

I am a Tamilian, native of Bangalore but grew up majorly in Hyderabad. I also spent brief periods at Vijayawada, Bellary and Goa. So, when asked where I belong, my answer becomes a great conversation starter. People, especially the ones in Hyderabad(I did not want to generalise, but am forced to) found it difficult to fathom how I, a tamilian, native of Bangalore lived in Hyderabad.My etinicity bemuses them.
To make things easy, I stuck to "I am a perfect example of an Indian belonging to no where and yet every where." So, I take the liberty to point out that Hyderabadis are innocently funny, but are not aware of it. I love Hyderbad. It is one of the coolest places (if not the weather wise) to live in. May be some day I shall write about it. So, hitherto, Hyderabadis are funny and THEY DONOT KNOW IT.
Walk the roads on Hyderabad, you'll know what I mean. They have a habit of quoting and giving way too much information about themselves on the vehicles they ride and drive. From what I have observed, one can even get details about the rider's/driver's personality, favourites, caste and even the names of his/her children.

DISCLAIMER: The below mentioned one/two liners are not made up and are quoted as seen by me on the vehicles.

Starting with the motor bikes:
1st category:
They are the ones who acknowledge their donors.
These are some of the captions:
1. Mom's gift
2. Dad's gift
3. God's gift

2nd category:
This comprises the youngsters, teenagers mostly. Their quotes are mostly anti-girls. But, in reality these guys are the most desparate ones.
Some of the quotes I've seen on bikes:(Note the grades of increasing desparation)
1.No girlfriend no tension
2. Boy's friendship is best friendship. Girl friendship is like snake friendship.(well, who would want to be friends with snakes?? I do not even want to get into deciphering this statement)
3. Girls let me down, my bike lifted me (ahem ahem, if that is the case don't you guys show off your new bikes to your friends as your new girl,soulmate or with other feminine names?? Just asking..)
4. Names/images of their favourite actors. Just wondering, how much they can do with such limited space

3rd category:
The so called rebels. You find the funniest most profund(cough, sarcasm, cough) quotes written by them on their bikes.
1. Donot follow me, my path is dangerous
2. Donot follow me, I am lost and rediscovering myself (too deep bro, too deep)
3. Touch my bike and see if there is life after death (now, that is some after life talks I want to know)

Speaking of two wheelers, how can I not mention about activas, the rulers of the roads these days.
Found this one liner really witty and funny: Fearless and Gearless

The next category belongs to truck drivers. These quotes are Universal and not just found in Hyderabad. Trucks are always considered for publicizing social messages such as population control (truck drivers carrying the messages of popolation control- Mother of IRONY), anti-dowry campagins, messages to ward of evil effects of casting eyes etc. Here are some of them:
1. Hum do hamare do, now changed to Hum do hamara ek
2. Dulhan hi dahej hai
3. Buri nazar wale, tera moo kala
and the best of all
4. Dheere chaloge tho baar baar milenge, tez chaloge tho Hardhwar mein milenge

Coming to the cars,owners make the best use of the space available on the car's rear windshield and give every intricate detail of their likes and personal life:
1. First comes the lord worship: stickers saying "Lord Balaji's blessing, Sai baba's blessing"
2. Second, hero worship - Pawan kalyan rocks, Pawanism,NTR Junior rocks, Chiru for life
3. Then comes their caste. They very proudly flaunt their caste- Reddy's, Naidu's etc.
4. Names of their children- Aishwarya, Sushmita; Abhilash, Aniket etc. Nick names of the kids are also given in brackets some times. Aishwarya (pappu), Sushmita (pandu)
5. Acknowledgement yet again- God's gift, Mom's gift, Dad's gift.Most of the guys get their cars in dowry, ideally they should be saying "Father-in-law's gift, mother-in-law's gift."
6. Name of the car dealer- The stciker is left for years to rot- Maruthi motors, Advaith Hyundai etc
7. Name of their car service provider- Gem motors, Srinivasa motors

It looks something like this: (could not find real photographs, so decided to make one on Paint)

But, the best one liner that I have come across so far was on an auto and it read, "Could not afford a Volkswagon, thus auto." I applauded his wit. 

Emailing and personality traits

I have learnt to become more observant these days (not that I wasn't earlier). I donot know what to attribute this to, is it for a new blog post inspiration or picking content for my newly found talent, Stand up comedy.
A recent observation and retrospective inspection of events steered me to write this post.
I am no Freud when it comes to analyzing personalities  precisely but a series of incidents revolving around me made me quite good at it.
Emails have become a crucial form of communication these days.Interestingly every email is so unique that if you closely observe, reveals a few personality traits of the sender. As a person who drafts and sends at least 5-6 official emails everyday,I observed that there are 10 different types of personality traits in people writing formal emails.

*FORMAL- I am restricting this to work place related emails only
This is where variety dances on your plate.

First ones are those whose eyes dart towards finding a reason to write a lengthy email. They fill pages to impress the bosses. If you keenly follow, they are the ones who get busted all the time and their amount of work is inversely proportional to the content filled.

Second are those who use plenty of jargons and similes in every email in such a way that even a casual email sounds as though they are fishing in deep waters. These are basically the attention seekers who love drama.

Third are those who love to beat around the bush. They take about 10 lines to get to the point.They are called the seekers(Seekers.... Aah, Harry Potter/Quiditch moment). They always write to you with an intention to seek or expect something from you.

Fourth are those who parrot the boss's words and use them inappropriately in places where they are an absolute misfit. Sheep mentality kicks in and they blindly talk and write in boss's words. They are basically sychophants.

Fifth are those who love to edit emails even when they are infalliable. They intend every email to be in their words and fail to understand that each one of us possess our own style of writing an email. They claim their style to be more perfect and sacrosanct. These are the people who try to show off their authority to their subordinates.

Sixth are the kind who do not commit to any task  in their emails or write a semi finished email. They hardly draft emails or even worse, direct their subordinates to draft emails and asking them to Carbon Copy the former while sending it out.  They are the ones who do not want to get dumped with further work and are actually cumbersome.

Seventh are the kind who draft an email only to create a conflict.They kindle and dig out latent information(information which is laid to rest) pertaining to others, blow it out of proportion leading to futile discussions & making the boss feel that they are the only ones working efficiently. They are the quirks...... STAY OFF THEM!!!

Eighth are the kind who make atrocious grammar and spelling errors. They confidently send out emails with out proof reading it. These are the ones who are genuinely diligent and have worked their way up from scratch. Their learning is purely based on their experience and not from their education.

Ninth are the kind who genuinely write good emails with decent to good vocabulary. They state facts based on their research and back ground work and not arbitrary thoughts. It is these folks whose emails get edited by Type Five Personality.

Tenth are the kind whose emails are either a one liner or with a vague combination of one or two words with emphasizing punctuation marks. They are none other than the self obsessed and indecisive BOSSES..

Combination of the above traits exist too. Sounds lethal isn't it??
DING.. 1 unread email... Ok, let me go analyse it...

Operation: Vision Puzhal Prison

The World Optometry Day events that I was a part of this year shall remain indelible to me. As a whimsical person, I always loved to be a part of uncommon, adventurous and fun filled events and experiences. This event was one such an experience.  Being a part of India Vision Institute,I got an opportunity to be a part of the team that handles the Community Vision Screening Programs. We organized a vision screening camp for the inmates of Puzhal Prison in Chennai, which is claimed to be one of the biggest prisons in Asia.

The very thought of getting inside a prison that mammoth drove immense excitement through my veins. I mean, how many of us would get a chance to walk the corridors of a Prison without getting arrested? Scenes from various con movies and shows ran past my eyes and I was completely lost in imagination and anticipation. As an ardent fan of the Prison break series, I was hoping to find a doppel of Micheal Scofield (I mentioned I am whimsical,so no face palm guys) or some story as intriguing as theirs. 23^rd March, the big day arrived and we all set forward for the most anticipated event of this year at work.  A small team of about 5 optometrists including me entered the gigantic gates of the Prison.  After going through a tight security check we proceeded towards the auditorium to start our screening. After making brief arrangements we set up our vision charts, reading charts, retinoscopes in position. I had a small presentation prepared on general eye care to share with the inmates. It was highly welcomed and immensely appreciated. Little did they know the amount of preparation I put in mastering the Ocular conditions in Tamil. It was a task. I sat down with my aunt and learnt the Tamil equivalent of all the salient words. But, in vain. I was grappling with the words. So I decided to switch to student mode. What else?? Bittu tha (chits as prompters) I wrote down the Tamil equivalent words in Hindi and English. .I successfully delivered the talk three times in three different jails. As a trainer I had delivered sessions to a variety of eye care practitioners such as optometry students, educators, ophthalmologists, opticians etc. but this was disparate. Discipline was an absolute code of conduct. It was the most organized screening I have ever been to. We were under the assumption that making the inmates read the distance and near vision charts would be a herculean task, but their literacy levels were pretty good and all of them were able to read at least one language and thanks to my clinical experience at L.V. Prasad, I remember the N6, N12 and N36 lines of every language in the book by heart even now. It was surprising how neither I nor my team members encountered a single non-compliant inmate. All the inmates underwent a complete vision assessment, objective and subjective refraction and torch light examination. Free spectacles were given to those with refractive errors and those with an Ocular condition were referred to secondary and tertiary eye care centers. As I have been dealing with other areas of optometry over the last few years, this experience helped me jog my memory about the clinical skills I learnt during my internship. I got nostalgic about my internship days at L.V. Prasad Eye Institute and Bausch & Lomb School.

 It has been a wonderful journey so far. My work experiences have always been a mixture of education and fantasy put together, which according to me is quite an interesting blend. I conclude this post with a hope of being a part of many such interesting and unique experiences in life.

Until then- What happens in Vagueness stays in Vagueness...
Here are a a few pics:

A recent attempt to capture the sun rise At Besant nagar Beach - A photo blog

I finally got a much needed break on this weekend. I decided to do something productive and not sleep through the day. So, I finally picked up my camera which has been laying in my cupboard untouched ever since I reached Chennai. I asked a cousin who shares my enthusiasm in photography and we decided to go for a photo shoot of the sunrise at the nearby beach. We had been planning for this liaison for quite some time. So, at 5 in the morning we rode all the way to Besant Nagar beach on our bikes, hearts filled with excitement. It was still dark when we reached. With in minutes the first ray of the Sun fell on us and then gradually the light started scattering all through the sky in an Orangish hue. But, the ball of fire was not where to be seen. Meanwhile we tried a few portraits of the people who frequented the place for their walks and jogs. We also witnessed a band in the making practice their songs and playing their guitars.
Here are a few snaps:

We decided to turn back as we did not get to witness what we came for, the sun rise. As we were about to leave the Sun which was playing hide and seek decided not to trouble us any more and finally started to reveal itself from behind the cloud. This is how it looked. Hold your breath. I never knew the colour orange could be so beautiful.

With in a span of two minutes we got to capture more than what we anticipated. The sun rise, the light hitting off the sea waters as reflection with an Orange hue is a treat for every photographer (amateur, in my case). Here are a few clicks which I thought was worth sharing:

We also had a chance to capture a few boats carrying fishermen ready to set sail to fetch their catch.

This surely is one of the cleanest beach I have been to. Also, early morning hours gave us the advantage to get a suitable place to stand and capture. Here are a few general pictures:

I was satisfied with the shots , though not completely, and rode back home to process the pictures and write this photo blog. . Why not completely you ask? Because, there is always a scope for improvement.

Women's day - another futile tradition

 A LONG STORY ALERT!!

One of my colleagues(a male co worker) at work sent me wishes for Women's day and it said , "Happy Women's Day." I could not come up with one good reason on why this Women's day would be "Happy."

This day makes the least sense in India espcially. There have been multiple  incidents happening that aches the woman in me. One reason that tops the chart would be the Nirbhaya Rape case which came back to highlight lately. India has banned the documentary shot by BBC as it claims that it hurts the sentiments of "India's daughter." As a person who has personally watched it, I felt it was far less melodramatic than those news channels which aired shows under the name of "Breaking news" back then when the incident took place. The documentary was thoroughly balanced and was not biased either towards the victim nor towards the accused. It portrayed the (in)human nature stupendously with out having to highlight or raise fingers at  who was wrong and who was right. 

"Good girls dont go out to movies, bars and pub in the evenings. This should be a lesson to them."

"The girl should'nt have faught back, she should have let the rape happen. We would not have harmed her this cruelly."

"I saw him put his hands inside her and pull out some thing long.It must have been her intenstines."

"House work and house keeping is for girls and not roaming around the roads at night."

 These were some of the most gruesome things said by the accused during the interview. 

What left me flummoxed was that he did not show any sign of remorse while uttering these words. I am baffled as I donot know under what category these (in)humans would get classified.Animals have known to exhibit empathy and pain when their own race was under threat.

What irked me more were the things the lawyers fighting for the accused said during the interview.

"If you keep sweets on the street, then dogs will come and eat them. It was the parent's fault to let their daughter go with some boy at that time."

"We have the best culture.  In our culture there is no place for women." I am sure this would be same guy who would spend hours of time praying to the Godess Durga also called Durga Ma. Is this what his mother taught him?How can he claim to be learnt and well educated when he did not even flinch while making such atrocious accusations?

Another genious goes on to say on national and international media that he would burn his daughter alive in front of his family if she would get into pre marital hocus pocus.I simply don't get the nerve of these (in)human beings. 

How are these lawyers different from the rapists? They share similar ideas inspite of claiming to be educated. 

All through the inteview, my eyes were darting to find one tiny drop of tear or sign of regret. I was then hit by an epipheny, I was expecting emotions from perpetrators and monstors. Watching the news roll reiteratively and the documentary made me a hot head and I, like the others wanted capital punishment to be declared for these megre living creatures. But,on talking to a friend I realized that these "men" were not the disease but just the symptoms. Giving them one shot death is not even a punishment and many such men would spring up in the society in no time with more wrath as one of the accused rightly pointed out in the movie. My friend came up with an idea which I now completely concur. He said and I quote, I think their body parts should be auctioned while they are alive and should be donated to those in need of transplants and the money raised could be a part of "Nirbhaya fund."This would be an honor to those girls and women who died suffering. I plead the government to come up with a campaign named "Best out of waste" and use this technique to punish the monstors.

The story does not end here, being an unbiased femisnist, I fight for equal rights for men and women. Hence how can I not talk about women who cause the downfall of women. These women are not horridious criminals but are the simple house hold ones who have not evolved in thoughts. They need no weapons or ammunitions to create imbalance. Their tongues wagging is enough. I have personally witnessed/ heard incidents where women in the form of mothers/daughters/wives/mothers -in-law played chief roles in bringing their own down fall. How many incidents have we not seen or heard of about female feoticide? A new bride is given rules by the both her families and is asked to comply and adjust so that she can keep every one happy but not herself. Girls in India are brought up with the mind set of being sent to some else's home after marriage.We are brought up saying that we need some one round the clock for our support and protection!! So if that is the case, why are women made to adjust to everything when she goes to her in laws or at her own house while they were promised to be taken care of. Is this not hyporcrisy? The other day, I was jesting at my dinner table at my cousin's place about how my mom (back at Bangalore) took care of my guy cousins by doing a few things which she did neither to my brother or me. The instant reply I got(by another woman) was, "You are to go to another house, so you should not expect such gestures." This might seem to be a very simple thing which you may think that I am blowing out of proportion,but, it spinned my whole day off. I did not want to raise a quarrel as she was an elderly woman, but I did mention that these differences are the s seeds sown for the downfall of Women. Women take the age to their advantage and speak what ever comes to their mind to take control.  

Stigma and position in the soceity are the two main villians to a human life. Why are we creating these differences? Men and women are inter dependent, so how can one claim they are superior over the other?When we cannot change the mentality of our fellow women at home how can we go on to change the other women and men in this mammoth of a soceity? 

Will this soceity ever let go of the traditions which are passe' and change with time?

Will men and women understand that they are all peas of the same pod called soceity and nobody is above another?

Now tell me, will this still be a "Happy Women's day?"

My song of Fire and Ice

Let me start with Winterfell, a huge Castle at the centre up North
Seasons here change but winters roll back and forth.

The rulers here belong to the House of Stark
Whose rule was relatively just and hence was a bench mark.

The Lady is Catelyn and the Lord is Ned
Oh, how much I loved these characters but they ended up dead.

Rob gets killed, Sansa is clueless and  Arya is spunky
If Bran starts to fly as the three eyed Raven predicted, he would definitely be a hunky

It is now Jon Snow who has to do everything
But, Yegritte feels he knows nothing.

At the King's Landing we have Queen Cersi who is full of wrath
Her brother (ahem) Jamie  gets rid of every one who dare crosses their path.

The youngest most talented among them is Tyrion the Imp
Who is in a fix currently because of  Peter Beilish the Pimp. (excuse the expression)

Tyrion is smart, witty and demands every trial by combat
His strategies are stupendous making the enemies eat their hat.

Daenerys the Khaleesi is the mother of  dragons
Qarth, Yunkai, Astapor and Meeren are now in her wagon

Ramsay has turned Theon to Reek
His chances of revival seems quite bleak

Stannis is heavily influenced by Mellisandrae  and Lord of Light
His son is a shadow who makes  Sir Davos cower in fright.

Weddings are royal but it makes the audience dread
As it is in them the main characters always end up dead.

There is immense violence and the characters are intense and strong
Every character has a grey shade and nothing is right or wrong.

Arya is on her way to Bravos thanks to "Valar Morghulis"
She will turn into some one fine so do not give this season a miss.

Jon heads The Wall, Margerey becomes the Queen, Sir Jorah and Tyrion's life will be in peril
These are some of the teasers for the next season coming out this April.

                                                                   An honest attempt by an ardent GOT fan

A few lines from my heart

Terror strikes and ambush seems to hover
Peace looks like has gone under cover
Death and blood fill the streets vastly
Painting an image utterly ghastly
Humanity has become a euphemism
Owing to the acts of terrorism

No protoplasm is spared
Hope and faith are despaired
How can one look deep into the eyes of innocence and yet have the heart to open fire
Will they ever feel the wrath and devastating pain the kith and kin felt while lighting the pyre?

Pen is mightier than a sword they preached
The Paris attack has fortified this eventually letting their satire and humor get leached

Blasphemous acts and killing in the name of religion
Followed by cajoling the aftermath by pretentious feats, promising peace and releasing a pigeon
We fail to understand the true essence of RELIGION as we claim its archaic and weary
Then on what grounds do we argue and justify our understandings, is my query?

Oh! How many such horrifying incidents do I quote?
It is as vast as an ocean and deep enough to drown a large boat

Will we ever get to live in a peaceful state ?
Wiping out terror and hatred and start over as a clean slate
Do we have enough valor in us to even make an honest attempt
To come up with a solution and strive en masse sans any contempt
                                                                                                   
                                                                                                    Sandhya Shekar